Ruling the Roost

This week I'm finding out what it's like to be an only child. Yessir! Big Brother has gone away to sleep away camp! I'm loving it, but the emotions here are wound tight. Never before have my human parents been without their human child and -

"Gus, stop with this drama! No one is wound tight, and we have been without him before."

"Mom, you're supposed to type. That's it. I'm writing this. Now let's get back to it."

"Fine, but I'm making an edit for clarification."

Not since my Big Brother was an infant have my human parents been away from him together. Dad goes on work and fun trips without us; Mom goes on work and fun trips without us; we all know I have to go on trips to the pokey without them; but Big Brother goes nowhere overnight without us - until this week.

The emotions here are wound tight. Dad said to Mom, "I won't be able to look in his room the whole time he's gone."

"For God's sake, Hon, he's not dead, and he'll be back on Thursday! It's only three days we won't see him," she replied, full of exasperation. This is my supposed made up drama about wound tight emotions. It's so bad they're in denial about it!

I moseyed over to give Dad a snuggle that first night, because I could see he was honestly having a hard time. I hopped up on the couch and stretched aaaallllll the way out, right across where me and Big Brother sit together. Nobody said, "Move, Gus!" like they owned the place. When morning rolled around, I sat right on the edge of the kitchen and listened to Mom tell me all about the day ahead, and I didn't have to worry one bit about some Big Brother monopolizing all the morning Mom time with his sports trivia and statistics.

When Mom got home from work, you know who she had time for? That's right - not Dad. Because she didn't have to run right back out the door to take Big Brother somewhere supremely important, like basketball or piano or religious ed, she sat right down and snuggled up to me for a bit.

Loving me some Mom time!

"That's right, Gussy. Give Mom a little love," Dad said. "She needs it. She's so torn up this week, she'd probably let you sleep on the bed."

My ear perked right up. Mom gave me some side eye. "Don't listen to the Drama King over there, Gus. I am not torn up, and you are not sleeping in the bed with us "

No worries. I'm happy doing my front porch sitting with Mom in the evenings. There's no big yahoo munching tortilla chips in my ear, while saying things like, "No chips for you. You're overweight!"

"Gus."

I looked up at Mom. "Yeah?"

"You can write whatever you want, but I know you miss your Big Brother."

"Hey - I am loving being the only kid here, doing whatever I want with you and Dad."

Mom smiled. "I guess that's only natural. I sure do miss him, though. It's so quiet. I miss my daily facts and stories and dad jokes. Someday, when he grows up and flies the coop, though, we'll have to learn to live with the quiet."

Wait. What? I perked my ear up really high. "Whaddya mean by 'flies the coop'?"

"Well, someday he'll move out. That's what we do - we raise kids up and out. Send them into the world to make it better."

Move out? I didn't know that happened. I was happy to rule the roost this week, but Big Brother not around at all? Sure, he gives me a hard time sometimes, but that's what brothers do. Then I thought of something awful.

"Uh, Mom? Do dog kids fly the coop?"

"I sure hope not!"

Mom's answer was a big relief. Then I put those two things together. I would not just be king for a week; I'd be king for a lifetime!! Sure, I'll miss that big lug of a brother of mine, but I'm sure I could manage this only child thing pretty well with a little more practice!

I started Googling - at what age do kids fly the coop? Hmmm . . . AI says most kids are grown when they are 18. That's four years. I should have been excited about that. Four years is not that far away. In four years, it would just be me with Mom and Dad, just like this week, which I've enjoyed immensely - not gonna lie. But I think it might be like lying in the sun. I love to do it, but then it becomes too much, gets too hot, and I'm over it.

When it was time for bed, I took some time upstairs to sniff around his room and bathroom. Mom caught me. "What are you doing in Big Brother's bathroom?"

I tried to play it cool. "Trying to figure out this toilet situation."

"Get out." Mom's words were harsh, but her eyes were smiling.

I smiled back. Busted. Of course, I miss him. And we both know that when coop flying time comes, we'll all be torn up and emotions will definitely be wound tight.

For now, though, eat your heart out, Big Bro. I'm the king of our castle this week!

In your face, Big Brother! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!!